Free Range Marshmallows

I know we all love roasting marshmallows over a campfire. Some of us even indulge in

the ritual of fluffer-nutter sandwiches. For the uninitated, that's peanut butter and

marshmallow fluff on bread, preferably white bread. Others of us hide in our apartments,

watching reality TV in secret and eating fluff straight from the jar. You know who you are.

Recently, I have learned to my dismay that those delicious yet completely vitaminless commodity, the marshmallow, is raised in very inhumane conditions. The little blobs of

sweetness are raised in huge cabinets, kept completely dark, except for one television screen, which shows an episode of "Grey's Anatomy" on a continuous loop. These innocent creatures are

fed nothing but air and sugar. They only see the light on alternative Wednesdays, when they are allowed outside for a few minutes to run laps to the music of Celine Dion and Limp Bizket.

Your campfire marshmallows are not cruelty-free. Your fluff is tainted with the powered sugar of innocent little blobs of gooey goodness.

Act now. Join the many celebrities and regular people who have joined the campaign for

free-range marshmallows.

Peace, out.

Bono

PS For $25 a year, you can adopt a marshmallow.

Dr. Oz Needs Clothes

So I get home a bit early for once, so I can bask in the hot air being propelled by
my Rite-Aid fan... and I'm surfing my 10 digital channels, courtesy of my $35 digital
convertor box...and there's Dr. Oz, one of the many people on the OprahWorld payroll. And he's in scrubs.

Why is he in scrubs? Why.....has he just come from surgery--in which case he should change before possibility spreading germs. Is he on his way to surgery and just thought he should drop by to pick up some germs for his patient? Is he going to perform an egoectomy on Oprah? Is he going to surgically separate Oprah and Gail?

No, he's answering questions from celebrities. Derek Jeter wants to
know why he's having trouble sleeping. (I can help him with that--hey, Derek, you make too much *&^%%ing money, that's why you can't sleep.)

So, what, do the Yankees not have a health plan? Can Derek not go to the team doc and get some drugs?

Hey, Derek, here's a suggestion: Tylenol PM. That will be $150. I'll send you my bill.

Spare Time

No more pencils
No more books
No more teacher's dirty looks.

School's out for the summer....

I am reading a book that no one assigned. The Book Thief. Great book. Watched "28 Days Later."

Looking for work.

Gradual School

No

not really

seems like the years

have flown like bats on amphetamines

like birds who hang out in starbucks

2005 fall

to 2009 spring

Gradual school -- remember The World According to Garp

great book

now i have time to read read read read

Suggestions wanted!!!!

my lit journal http://scribe56.com/WalkAwhileinOurShoes/WalkAwhile_index.html

May 8

The graduating MFA students, including yours truly, are reading on May 8th at the
Student Center at 7pm.

Please try to make it. It should be fun -- and there's food.

My Book Is Here

My book arrived yesterday. It looks so awesomely

Beautiful.

New Pic for Your Amusement

Here I am with one of the 721 versions of the cover for my short novel, novelette, novella, long short story. Pick one.

It's been sent to the printer and I am waiting with baited breath and no money in my bank account for its return.

Poet

Hi
I was deep into the depths of finishing my book last week and missed, among other things,
the reading on Monday night. How was it?

Share some thoughts on it with me.

I'm still working on my final project for EP. Not going so fast. Either the computer is really slow today or I am .

Which is it?

Awesome

I'm now using Facebook to get entries. But so far Craigslist is the best place for calls for submission. Have some interesting things.

Hope to see some poems, etc. from my followers here!

Baltimore Weather Sucketh

Yes, it doth sucketh most greviously.
It raineth on my headdd--and seepeth into my shoeth.

Must maketh appeal to Lord O'Malley for disaster relief.
Need new shoes.

The Nightmare Continues

Got locked out of my office on Saturday.
Am eating way too many microwave meals -- portable, quick, can eat with one hand while typing with other.
When I get home, the only thing I can do is watch TV and do sudoku puzzles. Fell asleep over a sudoku puzzle on Wednesday.
Cannot do a crossword puzzle. Could not think of four-letter exclamation, starting with F, ending with K
Misplaced remote control Saturday. Panic ensued. Almost called 911. Heck, if they can help get you extra shrimp on your fried rice.....
Listening to music on Jango to help me focus. Have now listened to every song from the 70s and 80s and am halfway through the 90s. Must finish book before I get to Miley Cyrus.
This is it for school, folks. No more. I am done.

Continuing to Finish My Novella.....

I'm chained to a computer trying to layout the text of my graduate thesis, i.e., a novella. You know what a novella is, right? It's a novel for people who get tired of typing after 30,000 words.

Please send coffee, chocolate, and a massage therapist to:

Jane
c/o What-the-F-Was-I-Thinkin'
Yo'all Collage of Literal Artz
1400 North that street that runs one way and is tied up all the time and is way
too narrow for an urban street
The City that Reads at a 2nd Grade Level, OMalleyLand 212011022023801201

Rich, Rich

Hey, folks. I am up to four-plus dollars. At this rate, I will make one hundred dollars sometime in the next six months.
(:->

Poetry with Toppings

I think that I shall never spy
a poem lovely as a Pizza pie

A Pizza whose cheesey top is best
when bitten into with hungry zest.

Against the foil's awesome silver
It makes my cholesterol to quiver

Poems are made by us ordinary Joe's
But Pizza is made by the guys at Viccino's.

O
l.....
Spring?

New Literary Journal

Visit my new blog: Walk Awhile in Our Shoes: http://walkawhileinourshoes.blogspot.com/

Previews of Coming Attractions

The People Who Brought You "Night of the Living Homework" and "Friday the 13th: Is When Your Project IS Due"

Now Bring You --

The Incredible Giant Podcast

Opening Monday, April 6, 2009, right after the Orioles play the Yankees.

Money

Hey, I've "monetized" my blog. So far I've earned 0 dollars and 0 cents. Please someone click on an ad or two. I want to see if it works.

Jane

Spring?

Robin pissed off -- Damn
she sings at the chill and eats
a shivering worm.



Rumors of spring weather vastly exaggerated.

Think....

Spring!

Lit Pubs at the Law Library

Come look at handmade books. Eat cookies. Drink decaf coffee. Sport a beret. Rock a t-shirt.
Learn to make a six-page book in six minutes. Bring a poem or story to share. Tell us
about your upcoming event. Have some chips and salsa.

When: March 25, 2009, 4-6 pm

Where: Room 319, University of Baltimore Law Library (third floor of the Law Center)

News

Hi
Two items:

1-The Lit Pubs students from the fall semester are displaying their books at the Law Library. That's right, the LAW Library. We're having a reception on March 25, 4-6pm, Room 319 in the law library, with cookies and coffee, cupcakes, chips, etc. Please try to stop by. If you have a book to sell or flyers about an event to give out -- feel free to bring them along. If you would like to read a poem or short piece of fiction, let me know ASAP.

2-I have a table for MFAers at the City Lit Festival on April 18, at the Enoch Pratt Free Library, Central, on Cathedral Street. If you would like to see a book, publicize an event, etc., please contact me. I will be at the table all day -- with any luck, the people at the Welter today, which will be next to me, will watch things so I can grab a snack or use the bathroom. You can leave books with me to sell, etc. or hang out at the table. Try to let me know as soon as you can.

3-Yes, I know I said two announcements. If you are interested in joining a group, as yet unnamed to read at venues around town, let me know. I haven't scheduled anything at Starbucks or Zachi's because we are all too swamped with work. I am aiming for a reading in april or may. Let me hear from you.

Here's is my website. Enjoy. Comment. Please.

This is the place, Hyperpoetry

Please let me know how it works on your systems. Today, I clicked on a link that goes
to a birdsong and got Amazon.com. I went back into the file -- the code was fine. Tried it again.
Worked fine.

I think Amazon hijacked the website and tried to sell me a Kindle.

I could really use a donut this morning. Cake style with chocolate frosting.

Your Poem Here

Copyright Jane Sellman, 2007.

At the Pratt Library

Hey, all
The Enoch Pratt Free Library (Central Branch on Cathedral) is having a display of art from old Golden Books. It starts on March 2. This is a traveling exhibition and will be there until May.

It should be quite interesting, and for some of us, a lovely trip back into our childhoods. I still have some of my Golden Books.

The library is supposed to get a wi-fi cafe (you'll be able to buy coffee, too) on the first floor soon. It is a nice idea, but I am picturing lots of books with coffee stains. Bank of America paid for it, and it should help the library financially. Pratt is a local treasure, so if you haven't gotten to the central branch, here's a great excuse. Well, two excuses actually.

BTW My Naming Contest

In the middle of all the other stuff this semester, I am trying to start
a troupe of people interested in reading their work at a variety of
venues. Probably for no money right now but maybe down the road...

Anyway, if you are interested, let me know. Also, I would like a nice
creative name for the group.

Prize is your choice of overpriced but delicious drink at Starbucks. If you
are not a fan of the Empire de Coffee, I can substitute the legal vice of your
choice.

So far, I have not had anything come to mind except silly names:

The Underpaid Poets and Prose Writers
Warm Play
True - Ba - Doors
True -Badorables
A Bunch of People with Scary Job Prospects
The Perks
Nothing to Do on a Friday
The UB Steps

You get the idea -- I'm really lame with the names! Help.

Death Penalty

If anyone is interested in writing a letter in support of abolishing the death penalty in Maryland, here are bullet points from Amnesty International.

You can write to your state reps or send a letter to a local newspaper. I also have a detailed PDF with stats etc. I can send it to you, if you are interested.

thanks

Please use the following information to get started on your letter:
• If you are responding to an article, name the title, author and date.
• As a Maryland resident, call on Maryland legislators to vote for SB 279 and support repeal in 2009.
• Mention the flaws in capital punishment that the Maryland Commission on Capital Punishment's hearings revealed:
• - It does not deter crime
• - It costs much more than the alternatives
• - It drags out the suffering of victims’ families, rather than bringing them “closure”
• - It risks taking innocent lives - mistakes in death penalty cases cannot be reversed once an execution has taken place.
• Reiterate that Maryland is better off without the death penalty, and that repeal will allow Maryland to develop policies that are actually effective at preventing crime or helping victims’ families.
• Keep it short, 150-250 words.
• Sign the letter with your name, city.

RE: Garden again

I received an email from Stuart Moulthrop He referred me to: http://iat.ubalt.edu/moulthrop/hypertexts/forkingpaths.html.

Also, the CD-ROM material from _New Media Reader_ may be available for download from MIT Press.

Or you can go directly to his Victory Garden.

Funny

Whoops!

Here is the Garden hypertext. I clicked incorrectly the first time I was here.
Click on the words in the text and then on the highlighted phrases. It's %*^&ing confusing, and

I think you need to drop acid to fully appreciate it. Unfortunately, all I have is Nightquil.

So I Am Still Trying to Read Garden of Forking Paths

Hey
I found Dr. Fidel Fajardo-Acosta's World Literature Website,
or as I like to call it The Garden of Forking Paths for Dummies.
Still on the hunt for a good hypertext example and the Cliff
Notes.

FYI, I read some of Borges' Imaginary Creatures stories
last semester. Check them out. Very cool.

Here's a really nice website on Borges.

I'm So Hyper I Could Text

Wow, I know why "The Garden of Forking Paths" is so familiar. Stuart Moulthrop wrote about it and its importance to hypertext, and he is

a faculty member at UB

and

married to my hypermedia teacher (Nancy Kaplan)

He even taught the class when she had to go out of town. Really nice guy. Here he is .

I found this out by going to a confusing looking site (have a drink before you click on the words) but if you click on commentary,you're find an article that explains why it seems to Garden lends itself to hypertext manipulation. Enjoy -- it seems UB has played a part in all this.

BTW, When you're reading offline, do you find myself sometimes stopping to look up words, cultural references, and the like. I have seen stories and articles posted so that you can click on a term and be taken to a definition/explanation. Actually that is a built in feature of the Kindle; as you are reading, you can highlight a word and get a definition, etc. However I think that might become exhausting after a time. On the other hand, very useful, if you are reading something where lots of tech or foreign terms are tossed about.

Plus it inhibits the desire to go "look it up." Looking up miscelleouus information often leads to wonderfully serendipitous events -- you look up the word, miasma, and discover interesting words around it. You look for quotes with the word and discover a writer you never heard of. Obviously some hypertext nurtures our desire to be led down the garden of forking paths. But in hypertext, aren't the paths preordained links one to another. Won't everyone will discover the same destination and see the same scenery along the way?

Coming Up Empty, Storywise

So I finally get around to checking the homework. Oh, no, I was supposed to actually do some research. Instead I screwed around with putting video on the blog, reading posts, and trying to decide what music to have. Springsteen or Fall Out Boy, Beethoven or Beyonce, Panic at the Disco or Silver Seas.

So I hunted around on Google. Looked at that Choose Your Own Adventure deal. Not much there. But I took Meagan's suggestion and looked at We Are Stories . Now that is really great. Check out Charles Cummings, the 21 Steps. Also check out Cummings himself. He is fine!

Also saw a few sites with erotic stories. No, I didn't check them out. Erotica just makes me sleepy.

Continuing the search. I suspect some good stuff will be on here for kids.

Oh, and the place where the Screenactors Guild Reads -- also very cool.

Another Saturday Night

Since this is Druid Hill Poet -- thought I should post a poem.

Maine, Ideal
(c)2008, Jane Sellman

Maine hangs out

over the waistline of New England.
Blue-green-
grey surf smashes million-year
rocks of
take it for granite
shale
and quartz.


Seagulls outlined on the horizon
dive for cold fries and white bread bits
wait to crap on tourists snapping
turtles and sandpipers.

Rockports impose sand tracks
Manolo Blahniks make
holes, which fill with ocean phlegm
and tiny crabs
quickly torn to snack-size bites by dueling birds.

The rain, an impotent drizzle on cordial wind, blows
the well-heeled inside for postcards and souvenir matchbook covers.


Removing my shoes, I curse
the negligence of the sun.
Give thanks for Maine rushing
between my toes.

Watch how Maine light, when
it shows itself, slants differently, casting
defined shadows
of greedy gulls
ancient rocks
and damp poets.

For Your Friday Night Viewing Pleasure

Wisdom from Sensei Rabbit

Sensai Rabbit says, "Better to light single candle, than to utter "motha-fuck"* when you trip on the way to the bathroom during a power outage."


*I too wish for adult content on my blog.

Graduating!

Just want to remind folks that I am graduating in the spring and

am registered at:


Starbucks
Wells Liquors
Eddie's of Eager Street
AstraZeneca Pharmaceuticals
The Maryland State Unemployment Office

Also, I am considering the following job options, and I may need a reference.

Peanut Vendor Outside Camden Yards (I already have the shopping cart.)

Cat Walker
Remedial Sonnet Writing Teacher
Ticket-Tearing Technician I at Landmark Theaters
Stand-In for Stan Marsh on South Park
Professional YouTube Video Commenter
Casting Director for Pushing Daisies and Jericho

Suggestions for other post-graduation opportunities will be greatly appreciated.